Photograph by Gamaliel Masters

oh how i love this day, this place, this joy, this peace. and wynn that is grace. that is her smiling fortitude and her blessings upon me.

it's a simple thing and it's not complicated by the theology of the thing or things, it's not rooted in the quagmire of redemptive thought and philosophy, it's just rooted in joy and love and that for me is grace! he/r grace in me, for me, with me. joyous satisfaction, freedom and acceptance and all that is, can be, will be, shall be.

it's simple, it's pure, it's free. free as grace should be, must be to be grace. not constrained by false threats and promises, not hindered or hidden by the guise of sacrifice but open, honest, pure and there for all in everyday.

in the sun, the wind, the rain, in the dark, in the light, in the sight, in the sound, in the smell, in the taste, in the touch. in the sure freedom of enjoyment there is grace.

even if i was tied up and imprisoned it would still be there for me, for my mind, my heart, my soul would still be free to revel in that day. to find he/r in those moments of torture and know me still and that is grace.

i know it's simple and maybe naive but for me that is how grace must be. if you wrap it in deep theology you smother it and it loses the freedom to be grace - a gift freely given without being earned or deserved - a sacrament of the soul.

and wynn i am reveling in her grace now as i sit here and smile and lift my face up to the kisses of the sun and the stroking of the breeze and cozened in thoughts of you and s/he.

<...>

...her grace is the ability to *be*, would be the simple way to express all i have just said. to *be* in the moment and revel.

"whence comes her grace?"

from within wynn, from within. it is there lurking in that deepest part of us that we lock away as children grown. it is within our hearts and souls and yes even in our minds, for it is the ability to latch on to the second, to make it last, to remove it from time and to just enjoy.

but it is also from without wynn, for it is the sensations of all those moments. it is the action of the unity of nature with us. it is the utter grounding of all of us with all (of us, of it, of them). of all of me with all of you, of all of you with all of life. the joining of body, soul, mind and the cosmos, wynn. the secret glimmering of the lightspark within all things, and all people. that is where it comes from wynn. from the lightsparking of all things, from the love and the blessing.

"why is her grace needed?"

oh wynn to be, TO BE.

without he/r grace, without this freedom and revelry and joy, without this acceptance of the lightspark within then we would be dry as dust, dark as night, sad as ialdabaoth without knowledge of love. just empty nothing in dead living shells. without this grace we would be empty wynn, empty. we would be souless as before the gift. imperfect creatures incapable of life or knowledge.

but with this grace wynn we are become light, we are become life! we ARE. lightsparks dancing in joy unfettered by the dark. this is the majesty of her grace and this is why we need it so and crave it even more.

"why has it remained hidden...?"

it isn't hidden! wynn it's there for all of us to see, it's as open as a daisy in full sun, as obvious as a child laughing at full out run, it's as drenching as the rains from the heavens. it IS NOT HIDDEN wynn, we just refuse to see it. we close our eyes and refuse to look at it and accept it for what it is, for to accept this grace is TO BE as little children wynn. no false trappings of civilisation or society or of self superior ego. but just open honest fun, revelry and laughter, pure love and sheer joy, just as children, wynn just as children.

"let the children come to me, do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." mark 10:14, luke 18:15

"truly i say to you, unless you turn and become like children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven". matt 18:3

see not hidden just ignored, run from, rejected, argued away. look at the children wynn, look at them it's always there.

"where else is to be seen the living face of grace?"

in you, in me, in the forest, in the sea, in the animals. everywhere wynn. everywhere where there is pure acceptance and love and joy in the moment.

find these and you shall see he/r grace, her face smiling beneficently down on you, on us my love.

"how is her grace to be found?"

just in the moment beloved, just in the moment. we cannot seek out what is not hidden, we cannot find what is not lost. it's there and all we need do is accept it. nothing more than that. nothing more at all.

"what transformations within...?"

oh my wynn how can you stay the same!!!

you smile, you laugh, you LIVE. live. not in the past, not in the future, not even in the present, but NOW! and it is joy, a true deep joy that dwells within/without. oh my wynn you become =all and more, all and less= you just BECOME. you ARE wynn, you ARE melanie, you ARE laughter, you ARE rain and yes you too ARE sorrow, but you ARE! and that wynn is the transformation of her grace on you and on the all.

you revel in the light, you are become the light, you are become her childe, a child, our child, earth's child, life's child. you become pure wynn just by accepting he/r gift.

oh wynn so much more to say but not the words to convey. nor the pictures nor the sounds!!!! ask a child why it laughs and smiles and it won't know because it laughs and smiles because it is, it can.

because, wynn, and that is all i can tell you ..., but oh ... it is such a beautiful is, so much bigger than me and i revel in this grace. I AM FREE!

<...>

...this is what is revealed to me at this time and i am joyous for it and grateful for it and thankful unto you for taking me into this room where she reveals to me such beauteous sights as this.

and so i give these things to you to share, and i revel in the thought of the more that is the now and that will soon be ... .

my love and laughter join with hers to you...

~~from a personal letter, May 10, 1999